I have no earthly idea why I need to speak to you. You’re not royalty. You’re not high level. You’re not the chosen of the gods. If anything, you’re exactly the kind of person I wouldn’t waste my time on. Yet I’ve been informed that I have to tell you about myself.

I’m a flaming parrot. Nuff said. Now you can just sod off. I have important work to get back to like…like…well it’s important and it’s work. That’s all you need to know. I wonder if there’s anything good on Netflix.